Tips for Living: Bouncing back emotionally after a job loss

Imagine that your supervisor comes to your desk and ask if you have a minute to speak and then says, "I am sorry, but we're going to have to let you go."

Your life now seems to be spinning out of control, and you feel like you have landed in the borrow pit on the freeway of life because you have been let go from a position you expected to have until you retired. You clean out your desk, and now you need to tell your spouse.

This condition happened to me three times between 2005 and 2008. The first question I asked myself was, "Now what?"

While my first concern was the care of my family, my heart ached and my spirit was crushed.

The first week of unemployment, I did what I thought was needed. But as the days progressed, I began to understand that I had lost more than a job; I had lost my purpose. I realized I would no longer be learning alongside my colleagues. I had lost my self-confidence, and I felt I had lost the respect of each one I knew.

Once I lost my job, my priorities quickly changed. I needed to provide for the necessities of life: mortgage, utilities, food and fuel for my vehicles. Finding a job became a major concern. My bills were not being paid. I was depressed, angry, frustrated and felt lost. I didn't feel challenged and I wasn't growing. My world had collapsed.

So how do you begin cope with all of this?

You need to accept that you are grieving. Denial is such an easy emotion to embrace that it is difficult to accept that you no longer have your former job. You need help to overcome the grieving stage. You begin by getting on your knees and opening your heart to your Father in Heaven. Tell him everything you are feeling: your frustrations, your pain, your loss, your needs and your hate. Be truly honest with your emotions. You may feel actual physical pain, so take a sick day and stay in bed.

However, you only get one sick day in your new position as a job hunter. No benefits yet. The next day, get back to work on the job hunt. Remember, only one day.

You cannot keep a confident person if you sit around the house all day. You need to be engaged in some type of work. Work at anything. Now is not the time to hold out for the dream job. You need some income, no matter how small it may be, to feel like you are contributing to the needs of your family. Be a handyman for the elderly in your church and neighborhood, mow lawns, work fast food, convenience stores, or gas stations, anywhere that regularly hires.